Sunday, June 22, 2008
love?
i dont think he understands what i need from him. i'm not even sure if he understands what love is. saying 'love' is not the same as showing love. he thougt by saying it to me everyday already enough to show his love. that is his problem. he knew it but yet and he do not want to share his problems with anybody. he would rather disturbing our friends (girl friends, to be more exact) with sms, mms. that is not something that i liked. i'm very bad at expressing my feeling to him because i do not want to tell him what to do for me. serious conversation will be very tense for us. i will keep quiet most of the time. since we have very limited chance to see each other, we had to disscuss everything over the phone. i dont know what to disscuss anymore. i will just keep complaining and he will keep apologising. nothing is improved since the past 3 years of relationship. deep inside my heart i hope he will change. but at the same time i might be fooling myself, knowing his attitude, what should i expect? i really need a miracle. time is flying fast. maybe i should reconsider this weird relationship. i am deeply stressed right now. this might be the hardest part of this relationship, which path would lead me to my own happiness or will it destroy everything i'm trying to built in 3 years. but i'm just too scared to make a decision. it has been a burden for me. i'm supposed to be happy but i'm not. what am i suppose to do? cry all night? i cant change him, so should i change myself?